Don't you send me to vm
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
