were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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