she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
