Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
