Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
