I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
