i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
