remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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