Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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