Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
