is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
