He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
