WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
