i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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