My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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