ugly people sure do ruin things
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize