yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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