yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
