every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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