Non-Jews are for practice
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
BRING THE BAGELS
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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