There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize