i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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