Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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