2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
