It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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