Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
