it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
