I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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