I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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