You're a womanizer and a bitch.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
