plz talk dirty to me
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
