im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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