one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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