I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
