dude i'm inner monologue high
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
