if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I had to cum in my sink.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
