i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Holy sore nipples Batman
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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