Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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