I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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