Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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