My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
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