On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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