i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
