Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
