I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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