So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
