You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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