you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
