It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm at about main and main street
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You're a waste of cheezeits
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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