Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
