Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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