So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm at about main and main street
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
