hotel room ftw
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
