You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
