OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
