Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
