Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
