You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
