i barfeds in our rink
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
