I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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