She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Randomize
