Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
