so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
