Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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