i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
