Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
wow bdsm is so cute
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize