Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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