so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
