My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
