You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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