his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
