ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
