College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize